Who is driving my Ola/Uber?

First a man from West Bengal referred to a Hanuman ji on the dashboard of an OLA cab, and said that he gave him a 1 star rating, just because he felt that there should be no Hanuman in West Bengal. Then a woman who had earlier been arrested for the flesh trade put up a post that she would cancel any pick-ups if the UBER cab had a poster/sticker of Hanuman on it. Then a blue-tick on Twitter said that he cancelled a cab because the driver’s name was a Muslim sounding one. Then started the deluge…

I too booked an Ola cab yesterday. The driver’s name was Rahul & I was carrying potatoes in my bag – I was wondering whether it was safe to take that cab. A friend told me to check whether his surname was that of the Mahatma & if it was, I should consider myself lucky. My honest and caring husband said that if it was, I should cancel the cab – “We work hard for our wealth”, he said. Boy, was I proud of him!

The other day I was just about to get into one and another blue-tick said, “Check whether the name is Modi – it is summer, you can do with less hot air”. I took one look at blue-tick’s creepy smile and said, “I love the winds of change” and ran away before he blew hot air in anger.

Just as I was about to enter a cab yesterday, another blue-tick IPS asked whether I was a bhakt. Innocently I affirmed that I was indeed a Ram Bhakt. Absolutely furious this blue-tick told me that I should start taking bullock cart rides or use Gou-Mutra to run vehicles, since petrol came to Bharat via Islamic nations. I was just not sure whether he had been discharged from service because of mental issues or what. I sprinkled some Gou-Mutra on him & prayed to God to bless him with sanity. Poor man – really we need more health reforms in the area of Mental Health.

I tell you my worst experience was when I took a cab with a driver called Arvind. He looked well-fed but was completely dishevelled and was wearing a muffler in this heat. He told me that he hates wearing shoes, because of which his feet feel cold in the AC car & that is why he was covering his throat. I knew then that this fellow wouldn’t drive straight to my location. Right enough, he loved taking U-turns even when not required & kept blaming the other car drivers, signals, traffic policemen & pedestrians. The moment he said that for actual Achhe Din to come, more people like him should enter politics, I got out of the car and took a rickshaw home.

One cab driver took one look at me and asked me which God I wanted on the dashboard. I tell you, I’ve never prayed so hard in my life. Why? Because he didn’t believe in any God and drove like he wanted to meet God that day itself.

But after what happened today, you will agree with me that I should stay at home for my own peace of mind… The car I entered had lovely deer pictures on the rear windshield. I asked my beefed up driver his name & he said, “Log mujhe Salman bulate hai Dear” … I got down from the other end and ran all the way home.